Are They On Crack? : The Cyborg 009 File
by Clap-For-Carolyn
Summary: It's baaack... The Second Instalment of the 'Are They On Crack' Series! The Stoned Freak returns to wreak havoc on the Cyborgs! Chapter Two: Crack Coffee and Coco
1. TSF Strikes Again!

**Are They On Crack: The Cyborg 009 File**

**The Saga Of The Sugar High Heroes continues…**

Me: DUN DUN DUN!

Clap: You cannot escape from the insanity! BWAHAHAHAHA!

Umeko: --;; You couldn't have just stuck with the Fullmetal one, could you?

Me: Nope. And at the base of my problems lay Cyborg 009. THANK ISHINOMORI-SAMA!

Umeko: O.o Riiiiight…

Clap: DISCLAIMER!

THE MOST AWESOMEIST ANIME AND MANGA IS PROPERTY OF THE GREAT (late Sobs) SHOTARO ISHINOMORI-SAMA! I think the company is called Ishino Pro. O.o Not completely sure on that…

Not mine! No sue! Blew all my money on C9 and Kikaider! XD I only own the plot and Fic line…

Weeeell, here it is, Are They On Crack: The Cyborg 009 File. Please enjoy! And reviewers will…um…GET TO HUGGLE YOUR CYBORG OF CHOICE! Flamers, I will have 006 flame you right back. It might just melt your comp.

Glompitates the team

Co-authored with ma brother Kitty Freak

Chapter One – TSF Strikes Again!

0 0 0 0 0 0

Somewhere in Japan…Okay, so it's Kozumi's house for lack of a better place… 

Crack. Scream. Crash.

"Owie! That hurt!" The Stoned Freak stood up, pulling leaves off her clothes. The branch she had been sitting on had given way, which lead to her falling out of the tree.

"Now! To the secret entrance! HAHAHAHAHAAA!" She laughed insanely, running thru the shadows.

The Stoned Freak, now known as TSF because I don't want to keep typing it out, stopped at the base of a cliff. Concealed by a few rocks was a keypad.

"Okies, da code was…um…713157373252737!" She typed the digits in rapidly.

"AUTHORIZATION CODE PLEASE." The mechanical voice responded.

"That's an easy one. 537153253247131510018!"

"IDENTITY CONFIRMED. GATE OPENING." A door in the wall of rock slid open, and she grinned.

"Haha! TO THE HOUSE!"

0 0 0 0 0 0

The cliff entrance had in fact been a back door/tunnel for Professor Kozumi's beach house. Yuuuuuup.

TSF crept into the kitchen with her infamous packets of white powder.

"Hmmm, what to taint first?" She opened the cupboards.

"Defiantly the spices…and the coco…Ooo! Coffee!" She giggled evilly as she poured the substance in to many a different food item.

"And to the fridge! …the orange juice…Ooo, milk…the soy sauce…"

'BUHAHAHAA!" She laughed as she finished her mission. "YOU ALL WILL FEEL THE WRATH OF THE STONDE FREAK AND THE SUGAR HIGH HEROES! WAAAAAAASHAAAAAAAAA!"

And with that, she jumped out the balcony window…

0 0 0 0 0 0

003 woke with a start.

'_I swear I just heard some one screaming…'_ She thought to her self and decided to investigate.

'_Nothing in the hallway…' _She came into the kitchen. Nothing seemed out of place. _'Nothing here either…was I just imagining things?'_

But the living room was a different story.

The glass from the balcony window/sliding door littered the floor, causing a breeze to drift in from time to time.

003 blinked. "What the…what happened!" Panicking, she ran off to wake up everyone else.

0 0 0 0 0 0

Cyberidia, the always excitable android, decided to wake up 009 to tell him the news.

And by wakening up, I mean the 250+ pound hyper hunk of metal jumped on top of him.

"Aggg!"

"Joe-kun Joe-kun! Someone broke in! Someone broke in!" She bounced happily. 009 didn't mirror her enthusiasm.

"Ow! Ow! Get off!" He managed to push Cy off the bed so he could breath again. "Now, what happened?" he gasped.

"Someone broke in!" Cy squealed and bounced some more. "Isn't that neat?

"Broke in? Oh great…" 009 sighed as he rolled out of bed. He glanced over at the clock. "3:12 AM…"

"Lets go lets go lets gooo!" She latched on to his arm and proceeded to drag him out in to the living room.

0 0 0 0 0 0

Out in the living room, the rest of the cyborgs had sleepily assembled.

"What the hell is going on again?" 002 asked grumpily.

"I guess someone broke the window…"

"That would explain the glass everywhere…" 007 looked around. "It doesn't look like anything was stolen."

"Then should we call the police?"

"At this hour?" 004 sighed. "Well, as long as I'm up, I'm going to make some coffee."

"Ooo! Coffee? Can I have some? Please?"

"…"

"…"

"…NO." Every single member of the team said at the same time.

"Aww…" Cy pouted. "Then I'm gonna go find Mitani-kun!" She said as she bounced away.

0 0 0 0 0 0

Clap: Wow. That was boring.

Umeko: Yup.

Me: Oh shut up you two… I felt like writing…

The second chapter, filled with actual crackish goodness, is coming within a day or so, but Kitty Freaks birthday party is this week. So I don't know how much more I'll get done… O.o the strange child decided to have his party in the summer, but his actual birthday is around Christmas…

Yeah, those codes at the beginning are actually a code! Kudos to the person bored enough to crack them! One hint: Look at your phone! XD

Sooo, you don't have to bother to review until chappie two is here. This was pretty boring… I'm sorry… TTTT


	2. Crack Coffee and Coco

**Are They On Crack: The Cyborg 009 File**

**Chapter Two – Crack Coffee and Coco**

Me: Sobbing in corner

Clap: O.o?

Umeko: … She read the final volume of the 009 manga-

Me: WHY! Cries My bishie is a pile of ash!

Umeko: Actually, they both have burned up completely, leaving absolutely no trace of them having ever existed.

Me: ……………………..your not helping………………….

Umeko: I know. -

Clap: O.O Um, see chapter one for standard disclaimer.

Sniff Chapter two! As promised! Not boring! And here are there real names for you people who might not be familiar with them:

**001 – Ivan**

**002 – Jet**

**003 – Fran**

**004 – Al'**

**005 – G.Junior **

**006 – Chang**

**007 – G.B.**

**008 – Pyunma**

**009 - Joe**

But of course, you people reading this probably know that…

Oh yeah, thankies for lil bro Kitty Freak, who came up with a lot of the weird things they do!

0.0 0.0 0.0

Later, after mass amounts of Crack Coffee and Hot Coco… the insanity begins! 

"…Who are you again?"

"I'm Joe. I think."

"Oh. Right." 002 blinked. "What are we doing here again?"

"I dunno. Sitting on a rock, I guess."

Amazingly, 009 and 002 where doing just that, sitting on a rock.

"…Who are they again?" Jet pointed at his team members.

Joe shrugged. "I dunno, but I'm gonna go inside-" He tripped and fell, landing hard on his jaw.

Click.

"Oww!" He sat up, dazed. "That hurt! Huh?" Joe looked around. The world had suddenly gone slowmo!

"Wha…? Oh great, what did I do…" He sighed, but then the revelation hit him like a sack of pomatos. Yes. PO-MA-TO. Not a potato, not a tomato, a sack of POMATOS.

The sack of pomatos that flew thru the air and hit him in the head might have also helped.

Click.

"OWW!"

"Dude, you like, _disappeared!_ That was frickin' awesome!" Jet waved his arms around excitedly. "Do it again! Do it again!"

"I have concluded that I am NOT JOE!"

"COOL! Wait, what?"

"I am… THE FLASH!"

Jet blinked. "…tha wha?"

"The Flash! Ya know, that red dude in those weird American comic books? Runs really really really REALLY fast?" He attempted to draw a picture of it in the dirt, but that didn't turn out so well…

"STUPID DIRT! Fine, BE that way!" Joe yelled at the poor, defenseless soil.

"…What does disappearing have to do with the whole really really fast thing?" Oye, Jet's not the brightest crayon on crack in the box, is he?

"Haha! That's because I'm going so fast, you can't even see me!" He stood up and nodded.

"AWESOME! Do it again! Do it again!" Jet cheered.

0.0 0.0 0.0

All right, now back to the others… 

"I'm not a man! I'm a MOUSE!" G.B. squeaked, running around the house, as, you guessed it, a cute wittle mousey!

We now pause so the authoress can huggle the wittle mousey.

………………………………………………………

Okay, we're good. Back to the story.

He presently came to a small hole in the wall and decided to explore it, humming a little tune as he walked along. But as he tried to fit thru a particularly tight spot, G.B. hit his transformation switch… and turned in to an alligator.

Yep. An alligator.

"Owie! It just got really small in here! Or did I get bigger…?" He wiggled around, trying to free himself, and miraculously did not take out the wall.

"Ack! I'm stuck! TIME TO CHANGE BACK IN TO A MOUSEY!"

And G.B. transformed in to an anaconda…

Meanwhile, the sheer amount of small, annoying little noises was driving Fran insane.

"I CAN HEAR IT! IT'S IN THE WALLS!" She flipped out and grabbed a sledgehammer, and attacked a random wall with it.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHG! I CAN STILL HEAR IT!" She screamed as G.B. transformed in to a hippo in a tutu…

0.0 0.0 0.0

Back outside… 

"WEEEEEEE! I BELIEVE I CAN FLY!" Jet had discovered his jets. No pun intended. O.o "I'M SUPERMAN! WOOOO!"

Joe was running around the world. Why? Cuz he can. He's The Flash after all. ---

"What the hell!" Al' had taken notice of his friends strange behavior. He stood in the doorway with his 5th cup of coffee, watching the insanity.

"Hey 005, you gotta see this…"

"Hmm…?" G.Junior poked his head out the door. "What in-! What are they doing!"

"I have no idea…" Al' looked down at his cup. "Maybe it's the coffee?"

"That coffee is decaf."

"…"

0.0 0.0 0.0

_Now here we are with Cyberidia, as she is trying to find Mitani…_

"MITANI-KUN!" Cy called as she bounced thru the forest.

"WAAAAAAAAASHAAAAAAAAAAA!" Out of nowhere, a blur flew at Cy, trying to tackle her.

Ever tried to tackle a decent sized hunk of metal? The metal WILL win.

"Owie!" The Stoned Freak bounced off of Cy and made fast friends with the ground.

"MITANI!" Cy glomplitated TSF who struggled to escape from her death grip.

"AAAAH! Lemi go Cy! I have work to do!"

"Ooo! Ooo! Can I help? Can I Can I?" Cy bounced excitedly, releaseing her hold on TSF.

TSF, AKA Mitani, gasped for air. "Fine, fine! You can help me! But, you must become a SUGAR HIGH HERO!" She grinned evily. "Come on, lets get you in to costume!"

She ran off laughing with Cyberidia in tow, thinking up new ways to plunge the world in to chaos…………

0.0 0.0 0.0

Me: BWAHAHAHHAHA!

Clap: Haha, Cyborgs on Crack are funny!

Umeko: Carolyn.

Me: Wha…?

Mob of Cyborgs comes out of nowhere

Umeko: RUN.

Clap: Melp!

Me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! Runs away, being chased by crazed Cyborgs…

004: Blinks Huh. I guess it was the coffee.

Umeko: -.-;; I applaud your observation skills.

Meh. Hope you liked it…and if you did like it, the review button is down there! Hit it! Please?

Thankies!

Clap-For-Carolyn


End file.
